i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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