Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I need to wash the frat house off of me
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
