Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
