I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
