I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
