I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
