that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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