bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
