i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
