The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
