I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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