Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she looked like the before picture.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
