My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
