Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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