In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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