Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
