Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
