I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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