you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
