fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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