just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
