apparently the secret to your success is patron
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
