I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
