please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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