that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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