He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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