He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
tell me about the fingering
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