You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize