Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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