At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
