The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
