she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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