Is it normal to miss your booty call?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
