I heard we made out
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
