i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
