Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
