shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
