I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
