I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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