True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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