the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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