whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
