hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
