Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's never too late to be topless.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
