My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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