Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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