Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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