Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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