I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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