i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
