Already got asked if we're dating
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
