I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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