the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i believe in u and ur pee
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
