Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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