Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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