Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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