im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize