The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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