a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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