do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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